Are You a Shouldhead?

By: Shane Siegfried

Fort Collins Business Coach

As a Fort Collins business coach I feel this question may resonate with many business owners here in Fort Collins. Now, I didn’t come up with the term. My wife told me about it. She got it from her friend Judy, who says she heard it somewhere. I tried to find it’s origins to give due credit, but could not. But I love it. So many of us are Shouldheads. Do you find yourself saying, “I should do this. I should help with that. I should have done that….” Are there things in your business and personal life that cause you to constantly say “should”?

This is the time of year when we work hard on goal setting and planning to move us closer to where we want to be in the coming year. During all that planning, there comes that moment of insight, when we say…”Wow, I really should do that”. This is a pivotal moment. We know what we “should” do in order to move our business to the next level, but will we really take the actions, make the changes that are necessary? That’s the key. As a business coach my question has to be, “Can you turn that “should” into a “must” and then into a “Do”? Some of you may be saying, “I have SO MANY things I “should” do! I don’t know where to start!” You, my friend, are a Shouldhead.

If you think you might be a Shouldhead, here’s an exercise I’d like you to try. During your daily 1% meeting (15 minutes for you and your business), take some time to write down those “shoulds” that have been weighing on your mind, and think about whether or not they are “musts”. Are they activities that are important to your life and your business or just guilt that you’ve allowed yourself to get sidetracked by. It’s very important to weed out what is taking you away from your business and focus on what is going to keep you on course to achieve the goals that you have set. So, take the time to look at each item on your list and decide what you’re going to DO with it. Can you accomplish it? Can you delegate it? Does it even require you to DO anything, or have you just taken on someone else’s problem and allowed yourself to feel responsible for it?

If you need help with this exercise, you’ll find it at my Fort Collins business coach blogs, The ABCDE Method and Urgent and Important Tipped on End. Look objectively at each item. If it really isn’t your responsibility, let it go. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty. Don’t “should” all over yourself. Some of you have control issues that cause you to be Shouldheads. Let it go! You see, the problem with “shoulds” is that they are self-defeating. They drain your energy. They cause a sense of guilt and self-doubt. When we allow ourselves to meditate on them, we can begin to feel overwhelmed and anxious. How do we take control of those “shoulds”? “DO”

Once you’ve weeded out the things that can be delegated or completely eliminated, write down the top 4 or 5 “shoulds” (that are really “musts” for your business) and prioritize them. Next, break them down into daily activities. Add those activities into your time blocking schedule. Taking action on those “shoulds” will allow you to be in control of your thoughts and your actions and will stop you from allowing other people’s priorities to become your own. No more guilt! When you have those activities scheduled into your day, you can stop worrying about them and focus your mental energy on more productive thoughts.

So, what’s the moral of the story? Don’t be a “Should” Head… Be a “Do” Head… or a “Do” “Do” Head… but I digress…